I haven’t betrayed you, my hometown

I’m leaving…
my poor shadow
remaining
there, wandering on the streets
in the grip of gigantic shades.
Though sick, I’m leaving
hidden under wounds healed
without medicine.
I’m leaving…
How am I leaving?
I still hear
earthly songs
following me
down to Childhood Mines.
My skin chapped
because of the saddening epidemic
makes me suffocate
with its yellow color.
I’m leaving…
roads winding
downwards:
no one knows where they lead to.
Cold weather
hanging itself on my eyes.
the sins I’ve never made
stay locked
in the prison of my body:
I don’t know
why I’m carrying them with myself.

You killed me…
unwisely, you killed me
to spare
your own selves.
I saw the culprits
seeing me out
at the door of my hometown:
I was sorry
to leave them behind;
I was sorry
to leave you behind.
My hometown
melting away like snow.
Didn’t you feel sorry
to see me off?
My ears red
with innocence
and the cold
protecting me.

But I haven’t betrayed you,
my hometown!
Since I first touched your body,
I’ve been loving you,
I’ve been defending you,
and now I’m leaving you.
This was all I knew.
I’ve been feeding the freshness of your sky
with both body and soul.
How can you deny
me?
My hometown,
you did kill me
because I loved you
beyond my consciousness.

I am leaving…
carpeting your streets
with the gravel of love
for the people
walking with their eyes closed.
Unceasingly,
I am carpeting the frozen ice
of your streets
with all I own
so that other people
won’t fall down
like I did.

Mirela Sula, 2002

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