By being embedded with memories of our past, we are not doing anything but blocking ourselves from moving forward. This blockage complicates our lives and prevents us from finding our wellbeing, and our inner peace. The past is a place to visit from time to time, but if we stay there too long, it can hinder us in attempts to continue our journey forward. We can often encounter memories that do not allow us to detach, and this can make us feel guilty. There are people who do not like their past; however, they are unable to detach from it. How can this resistance be explained? I have heard many people blaming themselves for the past. I have seen people who have been ruthless and kept themselves hostage in their past, almost as if they felt a need to be punished. It often happens that we want to suffer the punishment for mistakes that we did not make ourselves. In any event, if we truly want to detach from the past, what is it that holds us hostage? First we need to learn how to accept ourselves. To feel the accomplishment of simply living, we should appreciate the richness of the past and feel good with our history and its roots, whatever they are.
Surely, in this history with the exception of good memories, we can have painful moments that come to surface through external stimuli. We think that we have erased stories from the memory by not accepting some part of our history. However, what is recorded in long-term memory remains there forever. Erasing the memories is simply an attempt to escape from pain that some memories cause us. Repressing them every time they come up to threaten our peace does not work because they resurface. But what is the solution to escape from them? By denying them? No, the denial is worse than the burden they present. The best way is to accept them as a part of the history and to forgive your ancestors who have built the scenario of your history. They are the authors, but they do not have the copyright to use the history. Only we have the rights to our own history; we are the owners of our past and have the rights to this history. We can certainly choose to enrich it with other stories. It is likely that we are stuck in the script that others have written for us (by using us as co-authors when we were young); but now as grown individuals we do not need co-owners; life is a personal mission that we can administer to ourselves. Others may be our associates, or may simply be in the present time, but we can no longer allow them to be jointly responsible for our history. How the history will continue or if it is going to end should only be our decision and not someone else’s. We cannot change the beginning but we can change the end. This long journey starts by taking the first step, which is the forgiveness for all of those who will have written our history, the forgiveness of our predecessors, the acceptance of ourselves with all the burdens of the past, by starting NOW to decide by ourselves which burden will we keep and which will we discard.
From the book: “Don’t let your mind go”